Pain
by artFULLYoutuvit
Summary: You can't stay...Day 3 of Zutara Week 2010.


Disclaimer: you know what? don't make me say it! *sniffs*

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**Pain**

_"No lightening today?" Zuko spoke, mocking, "What's the matter? Afraid I'll redirect it?"_

_ Azula grinned, a smile that split her face eerily and conveyed no happiness, "Oh, I'll show you lightening." Her eyes shifted, and Zuko followed her trajectory a minute too late. She had already fired, her aim true, at Katara. Before he knew it, he found his feet moving, brushing up off the ground as though carried by wings. He might have cried out, he didn't remember. All he could focus on was getting in front of her, stopping the blast, protecting her, saving her. Zuko felt the breath sucked out of his lungs and a sizzling pain in his chest. He could feel it shake; wrecked by the bolt, cooked heart abandoning its frantic beat. His vision clouded over, blacked out around the edges, and then…nothing._

_

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_

Zuko could hear a faint humming coming from somewhere above his head. The soft melody soothed him even as it roused him from his slumber. He became aware of touch next, the strange tingling sensation on his chest, the scratch of damp linen on his forehead, the trickle of beads of moisture traveling down his cheek and neck. He opened his eyes. Katara sat next to him in what looked like his old room in the Fire Nation Palace, hands working healing water over his chest. What had happened? Was the war over? He swallowed, becoming aware of the telltale burning feeling of a dry throat, but opened his mouth anyway, "Katara—"

Her eyes shot to his face and she grinned, "Morning."

"What, is it—" he fished around for one of the thousands of questions bouncing around in his head, "Azula—"

"—is still in chains," she finished for him, "none of the Fire Sages want to get near her when she's still spewing fire like that." She saw him open his mouth again and went on, "they led me to your room, since you defeated Azula. Well, I defeated her, but she broke the rules of Agni Kai when she attacked me, at least that's what they said anyway," she rambled on, "but what I'm saying is, well, you won. So, hey, Fire Lord." She gave him an even bigger grin as he lay there, wide eyed.

He couldn't believe it, wouldn't dare believe it. He was the new Fire Lord? But what about his father? "Ozai, what—" Katara's face fell, and her expression grew serious, "that's the thing…I don't know, Zuko. I haven't heard anything from Sokka or the others, they must still be in the Earth Kingdom, fighting, or—" she cut herself off as her shoulders began to shake. Zuko fought through his fatigue and reached a hand out to grab hers. The water she had been using splashed onto him and seeped into the sheets, and he became aware of the dull throbbing of the spot where Azula's lightening had hit him. She intertwined her fingers with his and squeezed his hand softly. Her eyes were glittering with unshed tears, fixed on the still healing wound on his chest.

"Thank you, Zuko, you saved me and," she sniffed, trying to maintain her composure, "and now you have another scar, because of me."

Zuko took his other hand and brought it up to her cheek, thumbing away the tears that had begun to fall. He had to tell her, he had to make her understand. His eyes found hers, and she held his gaze even as more tears slid down her face. "I will wear this scar with honor, knowing that I got it protecting someone precious to me." Katara's eyes grew wide, but she smiled. She leaned over him, pressing her free hand to the left side of his face. Zuko closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.

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Katara felt warmth seeping through her veins, originating from where her hand held Zuko's. _I'm someone precious to him, _she thought. The idea made her giddy, even as she worried over the fate of her brother and her companions in the Earth Kingdom. She could breathe a little easier now that Zuko seemed to be on the way to making a full recovery, but it had been a scary night. After reviving him once she had restrained Azula, she was sure he would live for the moment, but the lightening had caused his heart to fail, and she hadn't been able to get to him right away. Katara had spent the night pressing a cool cloth to his forehead and monitoring his pulse, lest his heartbeat falter again. It had been easy to be diligent and focused that night; she had been determined to save him as he had her. Still, if it had taken her a few minutes more to get to him…more tears began to spill from her eyes.

"I was so scared, Zuko," she confessed, "you weren't moving at all and I couldn't get to you, and when I finally did I realized your heart was failing—" Katara hiccupped. She didn't think she had cried this much since her mother had died. But the idea of losing Zuko, the brave man whom she had come to love, to have him ripped away from her, and while he was trying to _protect _her…"you're precious to me too, Zuko," she whispered. Her body was moving of its own accord, bringing her forward so she could rest her forehead on his. It was suddenly very important that he know how she felt. Especially when she had come so close to losing him, and there was a chance she still might. What if Aang didn't defeat Zuko's father? What if he was on his way back to the Fire Nation right now, to do away with them? What if this was the only time they had? Katara steeled her courage. "I, I think I'm in love with you."

Zuko's eyes shot open, and he was holding her gaze even as she fought to keep eye contact. It was so hard to wait for his reply in those few seconds, or maybe they were minutes; they felt something like hours. Then suddenly she felt the hand that had been resting on her cheek move around to her neck, applying pressure. His luminous eyes were coming closer and slipping shut. She caught a glimpse of his long, dark eyelashes before he was too close for her to see anything, and his lips were pressing ever so softly onto hers. Katara felt her own eyes close as she kissed him back. This was so different from the two kisses she'd received before. Those kisses had been all about take: hard contact against hers, demanding love. This kiss was all about give. With every movement of his lips Zuko was giving her his love, returning her affection in waves. And Katara accepted it all eagerly, bringing up her other hand to cup his face as Zuko rested his now free hand on her hip, tangling the other in her hair. He brought her bottom lip between both of his, nibbling softly and making Katara sigh with bliss. She wanted this kiss to go on and on, time remaining frozen around them for this one moment. But Zuko broke the kiss, though he kept his face achingly close to hers. Katara cracked her eyes open reluctantly, meeting his gaze. "I love you, Katara," he said.

"Zuko…" she brought her lips to his again, marveling in his simple words that made her whole body feel as though it had been pumped with oxygen and was trying to float away. She pressed her lips to his nose, his forehead, his right cheek, and then his left. Gently kissing the hardened skin from his cheek all the way to his eyelid she made sure that he knew that she loved all of him, even his scar, because she had her own as well, even if they weren't visible. Katara left one final kiss on his lips and then sat up. Zuko's eyes opened again and watched as she moved her hands over him, conjuring up the spilt water from the sheets and his torso, "I'm not done healing you yet," she remarked, "the Fire Lord needs to be in tip top shape, doesn't he?" Zuko smirked at her.

"That's right, peasant," he replied easily. Katara stuck her tongue out at him playfully. "That's right," he continued, "the Avatar and the rest will be coming back here soon for my coronation," his haughty grin softened, "they'll all come back, Katara: your brother, Suki, Toph, and Aang will all come back safe. It isn't going to end like that stupid play back on Ember Island."

Katara felt the bottom of her stomach drop to somewhere around her knees. That play…Aang and that _stupid play! _Hadn't he said he expected a commitment from her? "_We kissed at the invasion and I thought we were going to be together, but we're not!" _He had kissed _her_—a little out of the blue, she might add—and he wanted them to be in a relationship? But she was in love with Zuko…

_He's been working so hard, Katara, _a dark voice in her mind spoke, _hasn't he always been pushing and pushing himself to master the elements, trying to accept his responsibility? He's saving the world right now and when it's all over he thinks you won't be 'confused' anymore and accept his love. _Katara felt her hands begin to shake with the unfairness of it all. Aang just expected her to love him, he hadn't listened to her when she had tried to explain her feelings, he had kissed her, _taken _her kiss, like it was something to which he had exclusive rights. _But doesn't he deserve to be with the girl he likes after all he's been through? _The voice spoke again, _is it really so hard to give him that? Are you just going to __**abandon**__ him? _

Katara inhaled sharply. She'd always been the one to take care of Aang, more than anybody else. She had found him in that iceberg so long ago, and ever since then she'd been by his side: laughing at his stunts, calming him down from the Avatar State, healing him time and again. Could she really just tell him to go off on his own, find his own path, while she reveled in a romantic relationship with Zuko? And she didn't even know how such a relationship could work. True, they loved each other, but if all went well Zuko would be Fire Lord, and she? She was still just a girl from the Southern Water Tribe. What reason did she have to stay here, really? He didn't need her getting in his way. _He loves you, _she reminded herself. But the moment was already tainted with her guilt. It had seeped in and stained their moment like black ink on parchment. He loved her…but so did Aang, and he needed her. _You can't stay._

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Zuko watched as Katara's smile fell off her face at his words. He saw her hands shake and her expression contort between a thousand and one emotions before settling on what could only be sadness. Had he offended her? They had all hated the play, he thought. As the seconds wore on Zuko grew more concerned. They were in love, they had defeated Azula; shouldn't this be a happy moment? Drawing his arms to his sides, Zuko winced as he hoisted himself into a sitting position. He cautiously reached out a hand and placed it on Katara's knee, calling her name softly. She stood up suddenly, looking as though someone had slapped her for no reason: angry, frustrated, and hurt. Nevertheless, her stance was strong, and he was reminded of Toph in that moment, facing the problem head on, like she was always talking about.

"We can't be together."

Zuko thought he must have misheard her. "What?"

Katara began pacing, wringing her hands together. "Do you want me to just stay in the Fire Nation when this is all over? I can't just uproot my life, you know."

She had to be joking now. "Uproot your life? You've been running around with the Avatar for a year."

"Damn it, Zuko!" She was crying again now, "you have to understand. _Please _understand. I just can't do this."

There was something wrong; he knew it. She sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as him. Katara had gotten into her own head and talked herself out of being with him. He had seen guilt flicker in her eyes before, so she was blaming herself for something. How else could she have gone from crying over him and kissing him and confessing her love for him to telling him to stop uprooting her life? Zuko stood, "whatever it is Katara, is it really worth walking away from this?" She froze. "I can tell you're feeling guilty, but you always put others before yourself. Can you honestly tell me that this is what _you _want?"

_"I want to be with you!" _ She stood there, chest heaving, looking as though the words had been wrenched from her throat. "But I can't Zuko, please. Aang he—he loves me and…" but Zuko had stopped listening. _Aang, of course. _It was easy to see that the boy loved her. Hell, he was probably fighting his father for her, saving the world _for her. _Of course she would feel bad about loving someone else, but bad enough to just leave him before they had gotten the chance to really be together? She treated Aang like her kid, but she wanted to be with him? She was picking him? Zuko felt his old familiar anger boil up to the surface. If that's how she wanted it to be, fine.

"Great!" Katara stopped speaking as he interrupted her. "If you want to be with him, fine. I had a girlfriend before I came to join your little gang, you know. And she still loves me." He was throwing barbs on purpose now, but he couldn't help it. He was hurting too, couldn't she see that? "You can just go off and play peacemaker with the Avatar, and I'll stay here where I belong. _I don't need you!" _Zuko stalked out of the room. He didn't look back to see Katara let out a silent sob and sink to her knees.

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"You need some help with that?"

Zuko's eyes widened. _That was a familiar voice. _He forced a smile he knew must look fake onto his face as he turned around. "Mai, you're okay." He approached her, arms wide as though he didn't wish it was someone else standing in front of him. "They let you out of prison?"

"My uncle pulled some strings," she was happier than he had ever seen her. So she _did _still love him, after everything. She tied his robe and came around to face him, "and it doesn't hurt when the new Fire Lord is your boyfriend." _Just like it used to be, Zuko, _he told himself, _you loved her before, and she saved you back at the Boiling Rock. You might not even be here if it wasn't for her. _Suddenly Katara's words about Aang the day before were starting to make a lot more sense. _So this is how it has to be, _he thought. Zuko fought to keep smiling, "so does this mean you don't hate me anymore?" _Don't hate me, Katara._

"I think it means I actually kind of like you."

He pulled her in for a kiss. _I love you, Katara._

"But don't ever break up with me again." _And I don't know if I can stop. _As Zuko tucked Mai's head under his chin a blue-clad figure appeared in the doorway. His eyes opened. Katara stood there, misty eyed but stubborn. This was how she wanted it to be. Mai placed a hand over his chest, "how does your wound feel?"

Zuko stared into Katara's eyes and tried to keep his voice level, _"It hurts."_

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A/N: And Day 3 is here. This prompt gave me a lot of grief, and it ended up being double the length of the other two! My idea behind all of these prompts is to fit the Zutara in with what's already happened, so yes, they're apart for now. But c'mon, it's _Zutara Week 2010! _They _will _end up together.

Day 4: Date is coming tomorrow!

Review please!


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